Sunday, March 4, 2012

Just Thinking

During this student teaching journey I've found out that it's A LOT MORE than just teaching. While I'm supposed to carry on the subjects of math, ela, science and social studies, students are being pulled out of the classroom left and right for speech, math and reading. Not to mention there is special and lunch in the middle of the day, mandatory writing time and assemblies to attend. It's a tough time when you have great ideas for your students to learn new material and all they are thinking about is who is going to be home when i get there? or I hope I don't get jumped on the bus. Maybe even the simplest part of: I can't make any friends.
This is a very overwhelming journey and I haven't had that Ah HA! moment or the moment where I know all my work and effort are actually worth it.
As a teacher I've realized it is difficult to just leave school at school and carry on my own life. There are papers to grade, projects to create, tests to make, and lessons to plan.
I haven't been able to wrap my head around this career. It is overwhelming and frustrating at times. There are times when I just want to cry. Teachers with experience have told me: "It takes years of practice" "Get through your first year and you will be fine" "It's taken me 15 years to master it all." There is so much movement and each individual child needs their special time and has their own way of learning.
Is this for me?
When will I have that "Wow! I did it!" moment?
I'm having second thoughts and I'm not sure how to take it...

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